Uncertain Mindset.

Lately I've found myself in places where I'm not sure I want to be.

Rephrase! I want to be there, but I'm not sure I want to be there now.

Work has been stressful, I've found that freight is definitely not something I want to do much longer. It's just a paycheck to me. Not something I have a passion for, not what I went to school for, not even something I want to do! I kinda just got stuck here.

I sit here staring at the middle screen of my 3 monitor computer set up drinking my cup of french roast coffee. In hopes that by the time if finish typing this, the coffee will kick in so I can fly through the day focused on what I need to get done to get outta here. (I never drink coffee so when I do, it literally hits me like a drug)

I've also found myself missing being in a relationship. Its definitely something that I don't care to just jump into (I know a lot of people who will jump into relationships because they're used to being in one) Not how I roll, means way more to me than just "I like you, you like me, lets date and see if it works."

I like to call those people "attention whores!" haha.

I just miss the little things like holding hands, little kisses here and there and the feeling you get when you see the smile on their face when you do something that they like!

Sometimes I feel like I have way too many friends. I hang out a lot! I love spending time with people. Both good and bad I guess. and with all that being said, there is this girl that I've been spending a good amount of time with lately, but like the title goes.... I currently have an uncertain mindset. AND of course, (just my luck) the more I hang out with her, the more other girls come outta the wood works. It's weird. Not gonna lie. and i don't necessarily mean they're coming out wanting to date me, just coming out wanting to hang out more! (which if I was in a relationship, might be a little uneasy for her to grasp?)

^ ^ ^ when I say that I'm getting more female attention, I'm not saying it as "I'm keeping my options open." because that's not the reason I'm uncertain with this girl. I was in a long ass relationship that ended the beginning of this year, I think its healthy for me to not be in one for a while. I've definitely gotten to experience more this year being single. Lots of searching and I feel like I've learned a lot about myself.

HAH! So, I've been at this post for 3 hours now... I'm at work so its been off and on, but after reading this I noticed that when the coffee hit me I just started rambling! I don't even know where I went with this! whatever, I'm done for now. I should stop before my brain starts hurting. hope this even makes sense to whoever reads this! : P